Head vs. Heart

I wonder if my head, and my heart are friends?

Do they talk with each other every now and then? 

When my head talks to my heart, does my heart listen? 

When my heart passes a note to my head, does my head open it? 

One day, when they really get to know each other, I may finally get something right. 

Amazing things could happen if they started working together. 

Maybe all they need is an introduction- 

Head, meet heart. 

Space

"The biggest challenge about being involved in the space program is the need to be able to be good at and know a lot about a lot of things."

I will never make it at space camp. 

Door to Nowhere

I want to write about this door. This door gives me hope. I can put whatever I want behind this door. What I want to be behind this door is my future, what I'm going to be when I grow up, the love of my life,  my happiness. If I could see it even for a glimpse that could help this hurt. I don't know what to do anymore and I wish more than anything what is behind this door could help me. Take me to nowhere.. it would be a lot easier than anywhere.

(Someone Else) Not You

I don't wan't to give you the satisfaction of looking at this and knowing it's about you

because it's not. 

Everything about you drives me insane. You are the pain in the back of my neck that even with constant, deep, rubbing, never seems to go away.

Why do I analyze everything you do, as if it will make me loathe you less?

Surrounding myself with other people helps sometimes.. until I'm alone.

The hate I feel for you is ringing in my ears, giving me heartburn.

You changed me, and left. Leaving me alone with my new self.

You helped me create this, and now I realize it was always yours. 

It was perfect in reality.. until it was only perfect in my head.

I don't want to be me anymore, all because of you. 

That's why I think I hate you. I tell myself to hate you. 

Help me to escape it, tell me you love me.

I don't hate you, I hate that you don't love me. 

Candle In The Wind- Elton John

And it seems to me you lived your life
Like a candle in the wind
Never knowing who to cling to
When the rain set in
And I would have liked to have known you
But I was just a kid
Your candle burned out long before
Your legend ever did

Sincerely, Death.

I want to be your motivation.
I want to be the reason that you live.
I want to let you know your worth and how much you mean to me.
I can't wait until we can finally meet.
I want to hear all the stories you've gathered over the years.
Leave me in the back of your head, but know.. I'm always there.
Someday you will be mine.
Like an old friend, you've known me forever.
One day, we can finally get to know each other.

Unbroken

BROKEN family.

Everything they once knew.. the happy family they saw in all the photographs, no longer exists.

The smiles were lies, the love their parents once showed to each other, they will never see again.

For a child, this is the hardest thing in the world to understand. Mom and Dad won't live in the same house anymore. I have two bedrooms. Mom has a date tonight.. not with Dad. 

They don't teach you about this kind of heartbreak. 

At first it was devastating. The tears wouldn't stop and the confusion was captivating. 

Now, it is the new normal. Dad has a girlfriend, and she has kids. Four new people in my life. 

My family doesn't seem broken anymore, if anything it is more whole than ever. 

Dad is happy, and Mom got what she wanted... now I can see this was what needed to happen. 

Sometimes you need to lose everything, to realize what you had. 

Captivating

Help me to understand.

Why am I afriad?

My fears are holding me back from living up to my potential.

Do I have potential?

I'm afraid of disappointing the people I love most.

If I never do anything there is no point of disappointment. Right?

I'm afraid of losing myself.

How can I lose myself if I have yet to create myself?

I'm afraid of missing out.

What are my fears holding me back from?

I'm afraid of never amounting to anything.

In the end, will my existence have meant anything?

I'm afraid of myself.

What are my fears trying to tell me?
I don't want to be scared anymore.

Help me to understand.

I'm Thinking About You Like..

I'm thinking about you like flowers think about Spring
I'm thinking about you like your heart thinks about blood
I'm thinking about you like an addict thinks about his next fix
I'm thinking about you like a pen thinks about the lovely words it creates on paper
I'm thinking about you like trees think about life.. sitting there so long, they ought to think about life
I'm thinking about you like a dusty old record thinks of the needle that will give it life
I'm thinking about you like the screaming kettle thinks about a hot cup of tea
I'm thinking about you like a father thinks about his daughter
I'm thinking about you like my skin thinks about the sunshine
I'm thinking about you like a book thinks about the next person to charm
I'm thinking about you like the stars think about their purpose
I'm thinking about you like cars think about their destination
I'm thinking about you like I think about you.

On My Mind

I think about you so often, if you knew how much I thought about you, you may be confused.

I create a collage of little things I have noticed, things that make you beautiful to me...

the way your brown eyes get larger when something makes you laugh

the way your fingers tie around each other when you talk to someone you don't know

the way you move your hair out of your face when you're trying to concentrate

I try and remember these things so when we're not together, I'll always have you with me

I'll save these thoughts for myself, until you need to hear them.

Do you notice me, noticing you?

Love, it captivates your mind, takes over your thoughts, and paralyzes all other emotions.

I should be thinking about school, or my job, or something others may find important..

but all I think about is you. Help me to not think about you.